On Sunday, my day of rest and contemplation, I went through all my journals from the past three years or so. It didn’t take as long as I thought it was going to, mostly because most of them were not more than a sentence or two. I had made this card, I think I was trying to practice my cursive, with Ecclesiastes 6:11 on it “the more the words, the less the meaning, and how does that profit any one?” Some things really struck me about the journal entries that I do have is that: they are so dumb and I found it hard to believe that I wrote them. I mean some of the things weren’t bad…but just so callused and rude. Okay so I guess that is bad… Another thing that slapped me in the face was how blind I was to a lot of things. Like I had this quote in my ‘’thought folder” from “waiting for her Isaac” (written by Mrs. and Mr. Steven Castleberry) that says, “As she looked back over the last few years, she realized that moving to Kanesville had many positive effects on her life. For one thing it broke her dependence on her friends. She had learned to love to spend time with her family and serve them. Also, it and forced her to come to grips with obedience and following the will of her father (as well as her heavenly father), instead of selfishly following her own wishes and desires.
She also thought about the changes that her accident caused. Beth could truly say now she depended on the Lord Jesus Christ for all things in her life. Her leg was not improving as much as the doctors had hoped. She was going to limp the rest of her life, and might even become crippled again later in life. But the mighty God of the universe knew her needs and would provide for her according to his holy will. No, she was no longer alone. The only time she had been alone was when she was trying to accomplish things in her own power-then she was truly alone and helpless.” It’s funny that I should have written that down as being something meaningful to me when I was 12 years old. I think I must have hit my head at some point and lost my morals… I was trying to figure out where I went wrong, and coming across that made me think,” why didn’t I take myself more seriously?” It might have had something to do with the 10+ Justin Bieber stickers I had on the front and back (and inside) I don’t know I’m still trying to figure that out. But it’s odd that I picked that quote because of the fact that we may be moving to “the ghetto” and my Dad’s job change and all my relationships changing. I need to really now more than ever take this quote to heart, and lean only on God and trust that he will work everything out in his perfect timing. Even though it may not make a lot of sense to me at the time and may be painfully I need to turn my eyes to Jesus and look only on his wonderful face. That sounds so cliché but its true and a lesson we could all benefit from. (I’m not aiming that at anyone in specific just something that’s been impressed upon me and wanted to share.)
Le Miserables was awesome! I had the best seat ever! The Second row all by myself, well not entirely… I was sharing it with some good childhood friends. I didn’t cry until the barricades and at the very end, when Jean Val Jean is dying, I was sobbing. I mean really sobbing! My shoulders were heaving and the tears were flowing so much so that I completely soaked the handkerchief my neighbor gave me. I could not control it! I hadn’t cried that hard since my grandmother died. My row mates were very sweet and asked if I was okay afterwards. I even got a hug from little E (my friend’s four year old sister who is adorable!) Extraordinarily while I was recovering from that, I ran into a friend I had not seen in years! Or rather his mother, He didn’t recognize me until his mother said, don’t be rude son, remember…? Kind of statement, then his mouth dropped and several flies flew in before he shut it. O for a snapshot of that moment!
Last night I played airsoft urban style, while it was fun I have thirty welts (three of which bled) and a very large bruise on my leg. “How”, you may ask, “did such a sweet girl like Leah get a bruise from playing airsoft? Wouldn’t all you do is stand in the corner and watch?” Standing in a corner isn’t always safe. I was surrounded by the entire other team in a room with the one player left on my team. I had a pump shotgun and He had my brother’s automatic (don’t ask me the fps, I don’t know) He said, “Close the door and I’ll get in this far corner and you get in the one by the door and when they come in we’ll bust them” Well great plan kiddo, if they were going to open the door normally. However, they decided to use a large wooden bench as a battering ram! I hear, “Oh let’s bust it in!” and a lot overeager voices assenting. I start to panic and forget to move my foot away from the door; I had it there to prevent them from opening the door, until I heard the sound of a large something being dragged across the floor. By then it was too late, everything began to move in slow motion as caved in and splintered with a resounding crack. That’s when the bullets from nine guns began to hit me and I began screaming I’m out I’m out I’m out at the top of my lungs. But for some reason none seemed to pay attention. That may have been because they thought I was still shooting when it was my partner in the corner shooting, or trying to shoot (I was in his cross fire) the others. Needless to say I am in Pain.
But as promised here are some of the songs that meant the most to me this week in church. Enjoy!
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