Sunday Again!

Winters’ spell, numbing

Grey, blue and blinding white

All warmth snuffed out

Replaced with that which is becoming

Colder than ice, The blanket of snow smothers my screams

As my chilled hands cease to shake

With the deadly quiet growing louder and louder

With the trees and my heart cracking beneath the weight of it all

With no sign of spring coming, the eternal winter

I’ve lost all hope and with it my humanity

I am cast in stone,

A frozen statue waiting

For the warm life-giving breath to wake me from my indifferent slumber.                                                                                         

         Yes, I’m very proud of this personally written poem. It still needs a title. I’m thinking about A Fauns Perspective of Life. I found out I’m an inspired writer and this was from rereading “The lion The Witch And The wardrobe” I love C. S. Lewis and his space trilogy and if they make it into a movie they better make it good and not some spin off of the general themes. See if you can figure out what I’m saying, it’s very sappy and a bit melodramatic. But I like it!

                So last Friday night was a little traumatic. We were having a family bible study. Which normally I enjoy but that night I just wasn’t feeling up to a large bunch of screaming kids all in the same room and a bunch of stressed adults trying to keep them down. Plus after working for 35 hours a week and late nights takes a toll on one’s body. I did have some Math home work to complete for that week and I didn’t want any left over for the weekend. I was already grumpy and kind of gave my own. Something along the lines of well what exactly will I lose? The answer was you won’t go into work tomorrow. I was very upset and lost my head and went for a long walk without telling my parents. I was bawling and muttering all sorts of dire threats to humanity in general. I was, thankfully, prevented from doing anything majorly ridiculous (except sending out another unthoughtout  e-mail) by my “mentor lady” The advice she gave me was not what I wanted to hear necessarily but it did make sense.  However I did go home and I was able to go to work on Saturday. So Right Now the Plan is just to hold on and try to rise above the situation as much as possible. My job, Civil Air Patrol, and School when it starts in January will help some with the everyday stresses. Staying with my parents. The only trouble I’ll  have is well…I’m in a quandary about whether I want to do a gap year between My graduating High School and The P.T.A degree and work in D.C. to get my foot in the Art community or do I want to do a 3 month figure out who I am kind of thing at the Rowe Center. It’s a work/study kind of “spiritual” retreat thing…I totally want to do A video blog of my time there and turn it into a documentary of sorts. I still need to call them and see how that would work. I know for sure that I want to do the Navy but just not sure how I should go about it…The corpsman is looking good, only problem is that the A-school for it is in Michigan where I’ll no doubt freeze. The college I had wanted to go to does not have ROTC and then there is the whole reserve option. So yes I am confused and trying to figure out all of this. To make it even more confusing it all depends on what my best friends are doing. I mean how far apart to I want to be from them now and what if I want to be close to my extended family…Oh, it is a royal mess! But we shall overcome!